1st Round NFL Draft Thoughts

I'm a man who likes to seize opportunities. So when I can mention Mike McMahon in a post, its un-American to not jump all over that.

I don't know why I watched ESPN during the 1st round of the NFL Draft. I should've watched NFL Network, I find Mike Mayock far less abrasive and far more entertaining.  But, mocking Mel Kiper is a lifelong hobby of mine and the ESPN coverage is like an Epic Fail YouTube Compilation that I keep finding myself watching.

I don't know when ESPN became this incarnation of ESPN, maybe it was when they changed sets. I hate how they create stories, and then beat them to absolute death. I don't care about if Johnny Manziel likes Cleveland restaurants. I don't care if he goes into "freefall" as Adam Schefter screamed.  I just don't care. He's a talented and entertaining college football player that doesn't project well to the NFL. Yet there he is, getting picked ahead of Teddy Bridgewater for reasons that I simply will never understand.

I don't know what incriminating pictures Mel Kiper has of the higher ups of ESPN, but after all these years of being wrong, I can't figure out how he still claws his way onto the air. My favorite Kiper display of idiocy was the 2007 NFL Draft. From the second round on, Notre Dame running back Darius Walker was ranked in Kiper's top 5 "Best Available". Guess where Walker was drafted? He wasn't. This was also the year Kiper vehemently argued for the merits of Jimmy Clausen. This actually happened.

This year, he calls Greg Robinson a "holding penalty waiting to happen". If Robinson is a holding penalty waiting to happen, does that mean Cyrus Kuandjio is holding someone right now? If a tree falls in the woods, and no one is there to hear it, is Cyrus Kuandjio still holding?

And the tantrum about Taylor Lewan getting picked by the Titans because it didn't match need? Why the fixation on need? You know who drafts BPA consistently over need? The Seahawks. Where are they right now? Why shouldn't the Titans draft a tackle? Oher is no lock at RT and Michael Roos is excellent but all about finesse, they need another mauler to match with Chance Warmack (my favorite o linemen from last years draft).

I hate to rave about Teddy Bridgewater, as that is often the kiss of death for any rookie quarterback. I liked Christian Ponder, Josh Freeman, Jamarcus Russell, Troy Smith, the list goes on. Bridgewater isn't perfect, but he was by far the most NFL ready qb in the draft. And yeah, he needs to work on his deep ball, but the overemphasis on arm strength is shortsighted. You need zip, you need to be able to drive the ball into tight places, but vision, anticipation and accuracy are far more important traits.

Aaron Rodgers, Brett Favre, Matt Stafford, Andrew Luck all have massive arms and are good quarterbacks. You know who else had cannons? The aforementioned Jamarcus Russell, Mike McMahon, Ryan Leaf, and the always inconsistent Carson Palmer. The difference between the two groups? Work ethic, fundamentals, anticipation, accuracy. Bridgewater has all of those. So, now that I've damned Vikings fans to more bad quarterback play and yearning for the days of Dante Culpepper, I'll take my leave.

A NCAA Tourney Guide for Drinkers and Novices

We could write an in depth dissertation breaking down the NCAA Tournament in full fledged basketball glory. But, that would take a lot of time and cost millions of lives.

Instead, we decided to write something for the people that only follow college basketball for three weeks in late March.  If you are one of those people, and have stumbled upon this blog because you heard someone at work talking about a bracket pool, we are here for you. 

We recognize that March Madness is at its best when you have attach yourself to a team randomly and ride out that brief, lust filled fandom until that team meets their demise. 

So, below, you will find a reason to root for every time in the tournament.  As well as a drink that seems to fit each team.  Take the time to find the team, and the drink, that is right for you, and enjoy the Madness.

North Carolina:
Reason:You like the powder blue and heard the star of Space Jam went here.
Drink: Pornstar

Duke:
Reason: The best way to throw people off your scent that you have no idea what is going on is to support one of the best teams. Also throw around terms like "Teamwork" and "Playing basketball the right way". Wear sweaters.
Drink: Mike's Hard Lemonade

Stanford:
Reason: You've seen #NerdNation thing pop up on twitter and want to fit in, you watch Big Bang Theory and read Tolstoy, or at least pretend to.
Drink: Cabernet Sauvignon

Wofford:
Reason: You like the underdog and think Wofford would make a great name for a fat dog.
Drink: Black Velvet Whiskey

Michigan State:
Reason: You love the movie 300, and think Spartans are awesome.
Drink: Dry Martini

New Mexico:
Reason: Breaking Bad was set in New Mexico, and that's reason enough for you.
Drink: Corona

Colorado:
Reason: You want to sing "Rocky Mountain High!!! Colorado!" after every basket and everyone to hate you.
Drink: Coors

VCU:
Reason: You need a reason to wear all your "Agent of Chaos" gear you bought after The Dark Knight.
Drink: 151, Up.

Harvard:
Reason: You want to seem smarter than you really are. You also like to spin the yarn about Harvard "playing basketball the way that it was meant to be played".
Drink: Riesling

Wichita State: You jumped on the Shockers bandwagon last year, which makes you a certifiable diehard and you are going to act like it. Make sure to bemoan the heartbreak of the Final Four loss last year, newer fans simply don't understand the pain.
Drink: The Four Horsemen

Oregon:
Reason: You love Oregon's football uniforms.
Drink: PBR

Kansas: You are a total front runner and only want to support the best. You've been jumping on the Kansas bandwagon since Paul Pierce and Jacque Vaughn were there. Rock Chalk..what's the rest?
Drink: Jameson.

Villanova:
Reason: You like Jay Wright's suits.
Drink: Fireball

American:
Reason: You're fucking American and you are going to act like the patriot you are. Make sure to call anyone rooting against them un-American, suggest they move to Canada.
Drink: Jack and Coke

Arizona State:
Reason: You, like the rest of the country, wishes that you actually had gone to ASU.
Drink: Hot Totty

Iowa State:
Reason: You heard that they call Iowa State's head coach the Mayor, you were a mayor on FourSquare, you feel kinship.
Drink: Starburst Shooter

Stephen F. Austin:
Reason: Their mascot is the Lumberjacks, you like the idea of a team with flannel jerseys and red beards in the tournament.
Drink: Tequila Sunrise

Coastal Carolina:
Reason: Their mascot is the Chanticleers and you have two things going for you that most people don't. 1. You read Chaucer. 2. You remember Chaucer. You want to talk about the demise of fair Chanticleer while watching the demise of the Chanticleers.
Drink: A Hurricane

George Washington:
Reason: You're a history nerd and want to be able to work into conversation the sand it took for old GW to cross the Delaware.
Drink: A warm ale

Delaware:
Reason: Its impossible to root against The Fighting Blue Hens
Drink:

Michigan:
Reason: You don't know much, but you know "Hail To The Victors" is the greatest fight song ever.
Drink: Mimosa

Mercer:
Reason: They are playing Duke, that's reason enough for anybody.
Drink: This years Florida Gulf Coast Award: Pensacola Bushwacker

Memphis:
Reason: You like blues music and missed free throws.
Drink: Whiskey Sour

Manhattan:
Reason: You like to drink Manhattan's.
Drink: Really? A Manhattan.

Wisconsin:
Reason: You've partied and Madison once and won at Hammerschlagen. These are the things memories are made of.
Drink: Miller Genuine Draft

Providence:
Reason: You like the idea of a team full of fat friars in robes winning at basketball.
Drink: Communion Wine

Umass:
Reason: You've been out of the game a few years, but remember when Umass had those sick squads with Marcus Camby.
Drink: Sam Adam's Boston Lager

Milwaukee:
Reason: You like beer.
Drink: Milwaukee's Best

Cincinnati:
Reason: Red and black always make nice uniforms.
Drink: Cincinnati Cocktail

St. Louis:
Reason: You know what a Billiken is. You also want to hear Jim Nance squeal," St. Louis, the Gateway to the West, is now the Gateway to the Best!"
Drink: Busch.

Ohio State:
Reason: Same reason as St. Louis, you know what a Buckeye is.
Drink: Red Death

Dayton:
Reason: You are a humanitarian sort, and you think its nice that Dayton has been hosting these play in games all these years.
Drink: Tom Collins

Albany:
Reason: You like dogs, especially Great Danes.
Drink: Adios Motherfucker

Louisville: Because their pace of pay is like six bumps of cocaine.
Reason: Vodka Red Bull

Tulsa:
Reason: Danny Manning is their coach!
Drink: Hurricane

UCLA:
Reason: You will never having to worry about misspelling their name.
Drink: Peach Belini

Syracuse:
Reason: Their mascot is a giant piece of fruit.
Drink: Screwdriver

Nebraska:
Reason: Its always cute when football schools play basketball.
Drink: Bourbon Fizz

Eastern Kentucky: Directional schools normally don't do well, and you like the underdog.
Drink: Jim Beam, Up.

Oklahoma:
Reason: You liked the movie Far and Away and just saw a youtube of Blake Griffin dunking in college.
Drink: Red Ale

Creighton: Doug McDermott sounds like a lawyer, but he's actually one of the best scorers in the history of college basketball
Drink: Rob Roy

New Mexico State:
Reason: They have a guy who is 7'5".
Drink: Tequila Sunset

North Dakota State:
Reason: There isn't a lot in North Dakota, you want to make sure the 12 people that live there don't feel lonely.
Drink: Harvey Wallbanger

Baylor:
Reason: It says "Sic em Bears" on the back of their uniforms. That's pretty awesome.
Drink: Bloody Mary

NC State:
Reason: They are the guy at the party nobody knows and everyone keeps asking, "How did he get in here?"
Drink: Jello Shot

Louisiana-Lafeyette:
Reason: Gumbo.
Drink: Sazerac

San Diego State: You feel sorry for people that subject themselves to such perfect weather.
Drink: Margherita

St. Joe's:
Reason: Their coach looks like the dad from everybody loves Raymond.
Drink: Brass Tacks Buck

Pittsburgh:
Reason: Yuengling is one of your favorite beers and you love French fries smothered in cheddar cheese.
Drink: Yuengling


Connecticut:
Reason: Their best player is named Shabazz.
Drink: Elephant Flip

Tennessee:
Reason: You like Macaroni and Cheese, their road uniforms look like macaroni and cheese. This makes you hungry.
Drink: Jack Daniels

Iowa:
Reason: You saw a sentimental news report on their coach and it tugged on their heartstrings.
Drink: Iowa Sunrise

N.C. Central:
Reason: Because two days ago you didn't know this school existed. They could be this years Florida Gulf Coast, except less interesting.
Drink: Automatic Midnight

BYU:
Reason: You always chat with the Mormons when they knock on your door.
Drink: Milk.

Arizona:
Reason: You like sunshine and Cacti.
Drink: Death on two legs

NCAA Conference Tournament Primer

It’s March! With the big tournament right around the corner it’s time to start paying attention a little bit closer so you can fill out a bracket that will crush your competition.  With the conference tournaments starting today for the major conferences we thought we would take a look and tell you a little bit about the conference, who is most likely to win, as well as give you as a dark horse team to cut down the nets.  Since we like to imbibe in the occasional alcoholic beverage, we've also included a drink of choice for each conference tournament.

American Conference-

This conference has been a lot of fun to watch.  You got Cincinnati, Louisville, and Memphis running all over the court and turning the game into a track meet.  The top 5 teams in the conference have beat the hell out of each other, and I expect the Conference Tournament to be no different.

Team to beat: Even though this tournament is played in Memphis and Cincinnati is the #1 seed I think the team to beat is Louisville.  The Cardinals are coming in hot, having won 9 of their last 10, and they have the experience from winning the whole thing last year.  Look for the Cardinals to cut down the net. 

Dark Horse: I am looking at you Connecticut.  The Huskies are the fourth seed in this tournament, but they don’t have to play 5 games in 5 days like they did in winning the Big East tournament in 2010.  They only have to win 3.  They split their season series with #1 seed Cincinnati (who they would play in the Semifinals), and even though Louisville has given them fits this season I believe it would be a good game between the 2.  I think that Connecticut will beat Cincinnati and will face the Cardinals in the Championship game. 

Drink of choice:  With the frenetic pace that the top teams in this conference play with it gets your heart pumping.  Exactly like a Vodka Redbull would do for you.  Pound them down and try not to run around the building.

 

Atlantic Coast Conference –

Surprise Surprise.  The regular season champ isn’t Duke or North Carolina.  It isn’t newcomer Syracuse either.  In what quite possibly could be the most unheralded conference championship ever Virginia is the team that is the #1 seed going into Greensboro.  Didn’t see that one coming.  So are they the favorite to cut down the nets? Well, no.

Team to beat: Because of an unbalanced schedule Virginia only had to play Duke, North Carolina and Syracuse once.  Two of those games were at home.  The one that was on the road was the one they lost.  While Virginia is a very good team I don’t think they can beat the top competition consistently enough to get the job done.  That is why my favorite to win the ACC tournament is Duke.  This team is battle tested, having played 2 great games against Syracuse and going up and down with North Carolina as well.  Plus, since this tournament is in Greensboro Duke will probably get some 50-50 calls going their way (which never happens).  I think the Blue Devils win this tournament, beating North Carolina in the championship game.

Dark Horse: I wouldn’t call any of the top 4 seeds in this tournament a dark horse.  So I am going to the fifth seed.  Pittsburgh.  In their first year in the ACC the Panthers did well, finishing 11-7.  They went toe to toe with Syracuse twice and gave Virginia all they could handle.  With the up and down nature of North Carolina this year, Pittsburgh beating them wouldn’t be a shock.  After that they could match-up with both Virginia and Syracuse.  Those would be great games.

Drink of choice: A nice southern Bourbon is the drink of choice here.  Something that is smooth to sip but with a bite.  That is why we are going with Makers Mark here.  Pour yourself a glass straight or with a little bit of ice, kick up your feet and enjoy. 

 

Big 12-

This has been an interesting year from the Big 12.  You have the rise, fall, and then little rise again of Marcus Smart and Oklahoma State.  Texas has saved Rick Barnes job (I wonder how many times that sentence has been written the past few years), and Oklahoma and Iowa State have been huge successes thanks to their coaches.  Even Kansas has had some drama this year.  With the uber-talented Joel Embiid not playing in the Big 12 tournament they are vulnerable.  This is going to be a fascinating conference tournament where 7 teams have a legitimate shot to win. 

Team to beat: The more things change the more they stay the same.  Even with the injury to Embiid the Jayhawks are the favorites.  This is a well-coached athletic team that played one of the toughest schedules in the country and still won the conference for the 11^th straight year.  Even with 8 losses this team is in the running for a #1 seed in the NCAA tournament, and if they win it here in Kansas City don’t be surprised if they get it.

Dark Horse: This was the single toughest pick to make.  So many teams could win it.  I ended up going with Oklahoma State for the obvious reasons.  This is a top 10 team when they play well.  If they win their first round game against Texas Tech they play Kansas, a team they have already beaten once this year.  Yes they would have to win four games in four days but there is not a team in this tournament they can’t beat.  Watch out for the Cowboys in the next four days. 

Drink of choice: The same thing wins every year.  The drink of choice is something that has won a major award.  That's right,  Papst Blue American Ribbon!! Enjoy

 

Big East-

Oh what might have been.  If Louisville, Connecticut, Syracuse, and Pittsburgh were still in the Big East this would be so much fun.  Alas, they are not and this conference loses so much of its shine.  It is still going to be a good tournament but if these 4 teams were still playing it would be one of the best ever. I hate realignment.

Team to beat: Do me a quick favor and go to the Bracketology page of ESPN.com and look and see who the fourth #1 seed is.  You got Arizona, Wichita St and Florida which are easy picks.  The fourth one is a crap shoot.  Right now it is the Villanova Wildcats.  Villanova is 28-3! When did that happen?  Villanova is a team that doesn’t beat themselves.  They have quality wins against Kansas and Iowa, as well as running through the conference.  They only lost 2 conference games, and both were against Creighton.  Even with saying that I think that Villanova is the team to beat and not Creighton.  Doug McDermott is a great scorer and the Blue Jays could win as well, but it is super hard to beat a team three times in one season and I think the Wildcats will beat them this time around.

Dark Horse: The dark horse here is Xavier.  They split with Creighton in the regular season and will get a rubber match if they beat Marquette.  Xavier is always a tough out in every tournament they are in and the Big East tourney is no different.  Also, since it is their first year in the Big East they want to make a splash and prove they belong with the big boys. 

Drink of Choice: They are playing at the famed Madison Square Garden.  College basketball at the garden is a beautiful thing to watch.  So sit down with a nice micro-brew of your choice and imagine all the games that have been played on that storied court.  Go ahead and reminisce.  We don’t mind waiting.

Big Ten-

The Big 10 hasn’t won a National Title since 2000, and yet every year people say they are the best conference in basketball.  Just goes to show you that being the best conference doesn’t mean you produce the best team.  This year is no different.  It is the deepest conference in basketball again and that is going to make for one hell of a conference tournament. 

Team to beat:  I believe that the team to beat has the best coach in the league and is finally getting healthy.  That would be the Michigan St Spartans.  I know that Michigan made the NCAA title game last year and is the #1 seed in the conference but I am still going with Sparty.  I know better than to bet against Izzo in any sort of tournament and I also know that this team was #1 in the country when healthy, which they are becoming again.  Maybe I have more faith in Michigan St than most people, but I believe they are going to win it. 

Dark Horse: Speaking of teams with lofty rankings the Ohio State Buckeyes were #3 in the country on January 7.  After losing a tough overtime game to Michigan St the wheels fell off a little bit and they finished only 10-8 in league.   They have beaten Wisconsin and gotten revenge against the Spartans.  Could Ohio St get hot and win 4 games in 4 days and cut down the nets in Indy.  Absolutely.  Don’t count out the fighting Thads just yet. 

Drink of choice: The drink has to be something that slows you down, just like the style most Big 10 teams play.  So because of that and St Patricks day we are going with a Guiness.  Enjoy.

Pac 12-

The quality of play the last few years from the Pac 12 has been awful.  In all honesty this year hasn’t been that much better but the play of one team has risen the conference up.  This year you had 2 teams on the top, 2 teams on the bottom, and 8 teams jumbled up in the middle fighting for mediocrity.  I guess that is an improvement. 

Team to beat: Arizona.  This team is head and shoulders above everyone.  It will be a shock to me if they don’t win it.  Arizona is deep, talented, and wants a #1 seed.  This is one of the best defensive teams in the country even without the injured Brandon Ashley.  They could win the whole thing, so winning an average Pac 12 shouldn’t be tough for them.

Dark Horse: Any teams 3-10?  I’m going to go with the #6 seed Stanford Cardinal.  If they get by their first round game against #11 Washington State they will play Arizona State and then presumably UCLA, 2 teams they have beaten.  This is a senior laden team and they need to make the tournament to save their coaches job, so I think that they will be playing with extra fire and passion.  Do I think they will win? No.  But they can.  And that is the beautiful thing about March.

Drink of choice: A drink that has the potential to be great but usually falls flat on its face.  That describes the Pac  12 this year and that also describes a Mojito.  So that is what we are going with.

 

Southeastern Conference-

This is where the best team in the country resides.  I have been on the Florida bandwagon since December (I can provide witnesses if I must) and the SEC has not shown me that anyone can compete with them.  The Florida Gators have made 3 straight Elite 8’s and just ran through the conference undefeated.  This team is scary good and can beat you in so many ways.  I just love the way they play. 

Team to beat: I guess I just wrote that didn’t I?  Florida is #1 for a reason.  They deserve it with the way they play and they will continue to play well.

Dark Horse: The Field.  Florida is such a prohibitive favorite in this one that anyone else would be a dark horse.  I am going to say Tennessee.  They have won four in a row going in and are in a similar situation to Stanford.  They have to play well if they want to save their coaches job.  I think they well.  I just don’t think they are beating Florida.

Drink of choice: Easiest pick.  Southern Comfort for Southern basketball.

There ya have it!  Now enjoy some college basketball and remember, for as much fun as you have this week, the real fun starts next week!

 

The Sonics Situation

We try to keep our content pretty unbiased here and I've canned quite a few post ideas on the premise that they are too "Seattlecentric". However, this whole tug of war for the Kings, which has been buried on major news sites, isn't just a Seattle thing, or a Sacramento thing.  Its about a couple of different things, being a sports fan and the NBA in general. And we don't have a lot of sports stuff on here.

 For as long as I can remember, I've always been a Seattle SuperSonics fan.  I was there during the Kemp/Payton years, and I was there when those titanic teams fell apart due to mismanagement and egos. I was there Vladamir Stepania and Jerome James' breasts.  I've seen the highs and the lows.  When the Sonics were ripped out of Seattle with tepid resistance from the city and state government, I was furious.  I swore off the NBA forever(This of course didn't last), and I railed against the very system that created this situation.  Still, back in 2008, I wanted the Sonics back under two conditions, one, the new arena combined public and private financing and is a good investment for both sides, and two, it had to be either an expansion team, or from Memphis, a city who at the time I'm not sure realized they ever had a team.

Now, five years later, Seattle has its deal for a new arena.  Despite some attempted slander by the Seattle Times, it is widely considered the fairest deal possible. An ownership group has assembled that is hell bent on bringing a team back and has ridiculously deep pockets.  However, the NBA has made it clear that there are no plans to expand and further dilute the market and talent pool.  The NBA has finally reached a point where the talent level in the NBA is reminiscient to 20 years ago, before early entries muddled the pool, they don't want to give that up. Furthermore, its all about market share, the owners do not want to allow another set of hands in the pot.

The Sonics ownership group has set their sights on Sacramento, which has endured its own descent from the elite with poor ownership.  Chris Hansen and company made the Maloofs an offer, the Maloofs accepted, Sacramento is spurred into action, and today both parties presented their sides to the NBA Board of Governors.
Naturally, the city of Seattle is excited about the return of the Sonics.  But to me, at least, the entire scene rages with great hypocrisy. 
One thing that the citizens of the greater Seattle area is great at, is being angry.  The specter of the Sonics leaving suddenly made the Sonics very popular.  An award winning documentary was created exposing the whole twisted process that led to the Sonics departure.  Sonicsgate and their crew were the constant, driving activists that constantly rallied Sonics fans and ensured that what happened here would never be forgotten.  Suddenly, now that the Sonics were gone, it was very cool to be a Sonics fan.
Now that it is becoming increasingly probable that the Sonics will be returning. It, after all, makes very little financial sense, long term or short term, to veto the purchase agreement signed by the Maloofs and Hansen and crew. I've been disappointed by the reaction of Sonics fans.  Sure, there is the natural excitement of basketball coming back, I get that, and feel it, but at the same time, I'm left wondering, what the hell were we so mad about?

I was outraged by the NBA's economic model holding cities ransom to the point that I often wondered if I could support another NBA team whenever they came back.  Why support such a business that operates from Stern's bully pulpit? Now, at the eve of the Sonics returning, I find myself terribly conflicted, and I think I'm in the minority.  It seems like Sonics fans, including the Sonicsgate crew, who penned an insulting letter to Sacramento Kings fans on Grantland, weren't mad about the actual process, they were mad they lost their team.  The reaction to pissed off Kings fans is "Yeah, that sucks, we know how that goes, but this is real exciting!"

Come opening night next fall, Key Arena will be packed to the gills, I, and thousands others will be there. Chances are David Stern will have swaggered into the arena as well to deliver a smug coronation. And chances are the 17,000 fans in attendance will boo the living hell out of him, venting five years of anger. Stern will look up, smile and soak it all in. He has everything he wants, a new arena and a billionaire ownership group.  Nothing has changed, we didn't prove anything to the NBA, they operate as they always have, we're the suckers. The NBA played hardball with us and we caved. We didn't really want the NBA to stop holding cities hostage, or to change their flawed economic system. We didn't want to fall on our swords to send a message, or, even with the wheels of business rolling the Sonics back to Seattle, we didn't want to take a stand. We turned around and did the exact same thing to Sacramento without hardly a speck of genuine remorse. In the end, we're all suckers to the great business that is professional sports. We root for clothing and the idea of what it represents.  In the end, all we wanted was basketball, and sometimes it just feels wrong.

The March Madness Drinking Game

I'm sure it comes as no surprise that we've created a drinking game for March Madness. In fact, I would be disappointed if it wasn't expected of us.  We are deviating a little from the standard format due to the flexibility that March Madness allows.  Of course, we have our standard seven drinks and three shots. 

 We've also created a drink that we feel fits the overall vibe/feel or each team or school in the tournament.  So, without further adieu, here is the Table 71 Drinking Game for the 2013 NCAA Tournament.

Take a shot for a missed free throw with under ten seconds left.
Take a shot for a buzzer beater
Take a shot for every upset by a 12 seed or higher

Take a drink for every "Live Look In"
Take a drink the entire time there is a video review
Take a drink every time Seth Davis is wrong.
Take a drink for every time they show the players on the bench going crazy
Take a drink every time a players family is shown in the stands
Take a drink every time an announcer mispronounces Gonzaga.
Take a drink every time Clark Kellogg says "Dairy Queen"

Here are the drinks for each school:

Lousville: Vodka Redbull
Syracuse: Screwdiver
Notre Dame: The Irish Carbomb
Colorado State: Coors Light
Marquette: Milwaukee's Best
Duke: Mikes Hard Lemonade
UNC: Pornstar
San Diego State: Margherita
Michigan State: Dry Martini
Wisconsin: Miller Genuine Draft
Pittsburgh: Yuengling
VCU: 151
Arizona; Yaggerbomb
Cal: PBR
UCLA: Peach Bellini
Kansas State: Manhatten
Miami: Hurricane
UNLV: Pink Panty Dropper
New Mexico: Corona
Belmont: Jack and Coke
Pacific: Mai Tai
St. Mary's: Fosters
Indiana: Crown Royal
Ole Miss: Southern Comfort
Michigan: Mimosa
Missouri: Gin & Tonic
St. Louis: Budweiser
James Madison: Hennessy
North Carolina A&T: Adios Motherfucker
Valpo: Bloody Mary
Gonzaga: Washington Apple
Albany: White Russian
Southern: Cognac
Harvard: Cabernet Sauvignon
Florida: Sex On The Beach
Georgetown: The Four Horsemen
Illinois: Champagne
Oregon: Red Stripe
Ohio State: Red Death
Colorado: Coors
Florida Gulf Coast: Pensacola Bushwacker
Iona: Guinness
New Mexico St: Tequila Sunset
South Dakota State: Harvey Wallbanger
Creighton: Tom Collins
Iowa State: Starburst Shooter
Memphis: Whiskey Sour
Bucknell: Rob Roy
Davidson: Fireball
Montana: Black Butte Porter
North Carolina State: Jello Shot
Temple: Old Fashioned
 Butler; Top Hat
Northwestern State: Bourbon Fizz
Western Kentucky: Jim Beam, Up.
Oklahoma State: Keystone Ice
Cincinnati:Mickey's
Wichita State: Vodka out of a water bottle.
Oklahoma: Red Beer
Minnesota: Mudslide
Akron: Hot Totty
Villanova: Kamikaze
Kansas: Jameson

The Super Bowl Drinking Game

 

 The Super Bowl. A time when you get together with friends and watch football, eat bad food, and drink copious amounts of alcohol. Here at Table 71 this day combines two of the three things that we write about, sports and spirits. So what we have decided to do is combine them into one epic drinking game. What you will see below is some events that take place during the game that are virtually guaranteed to happen, so keep your eyes, ears, and beer cans open as we tell what you to look for to make this game even more enjoyable

 Drink every time the Harbaugh parents are shown.
 Drink every time they show Ray Lewis on the sidelines.
 Drink every time they show Alex Smith looking morose with his hands in his pockets.
 Drink at every beer commercial.
 Drink every time Phil Simms says, "I talked to ___"
 Drink every time Jim Nantz makes an incredibly cheesy comment or bad pun.
 Drink every time Nantz or Simms mentions that Kaepernick ran the pistol at Nevada.
 Drink every time you see Terrell Suggs in a verbal altercation.
 Drink when Ed Reed and "Heady" are mentioned in the same sentence.
 Take a shot if Jay Z shows up at the halftime show.
 Take a shot if David Akers misses a field goal
 Take a shot for every touchdown

Enjoy!

Super Bowl Preview

As you will soon find out, I am a diehard Seahawks fan, but I will try and leave that bias out of this Super Bowl preview.

Conventional wisdom says the 49ers win this game.  They are the most physically impressive of the two teams.  They sport a mammoth, powerful offensive line, an incredible, physical defense and are impeccably coached. They are also running the pistol with Colin Kaepernick, something that has been nearly unstoppable thus far during the playoffs.

However, I believe that Baltimore's defense is a far stiffer test than Atlanta's or Green Bay's.  Baltimore is huge up front, spearheaded by Haloti Ngata. The Falcons were a little light in the pants up front, and it showed as two weeks in a row they wore down late in the game.  The Packers have decent size on the defensive line, but were ill prepared for the multilayered pistol offense the 49ers threw at them.  Its important for Baltimore's defensive line to keep their linebackers clean and allow them to maintain their keys, which is a lot easier said than done. 

Initially when the 49ers went with Kaepernick and started running the pistol, I thought that the 49ers were giving up their trademark physicality for a cute offense and a downfield passing game.  Against New England, their inability to run the football almost resulted in a blown 30 point lead. Against Seattle, they were bullied and looked lost. A team without an identity, similar to the pre Harbaugh 49ers teams.  However, they've now embraced the Pistol, added layers and it fits their talent perfectly.  Even if the Ravens are able to stop all the different reads in the running game, they still have to worry about Vernon Davis.  When I first started breaking down this game, I thought the Ravens would be able to contain Vernon Davis due to the excellent job they've done all the Patriots tight ends over the past couple years.  Ray Lewis is now a liability in coverage and Davis is a challenge for even the most athletic linebackers and safeties.  If the 49ers are able to exploit the Ravens defense, it will be with Vernon Davis. 

On the flip side, the best thing that could possibly happen to the Ravens was firing Cam Cameron.  His playcalling was stiff, without rhythm.  They seem to be clicking better on offense with Caldwell calling plays and have a surprising amount of playmakers on offense.  As a Seahawks fan, I've seen a lot of the 49ers, and the way to attack them is by spreading them out and throwing the ball.  Something the Ravens are reasonably comfortable with.  The 49ers do not switch out of their base defensive personnel group very often and you can exploit matchups in the passing game against the 49ers secondary and linebackers. 

I do not feel like the Ravens will be able to run the ball with much success.  And I wonder how well their offensive tackles will handle Justin Smith and Aldon Smith.  The 49ers do not blitz often because their front four is excellent at creating pressure and making opposing quarterbacks uncomfortable.  Flacco doesn't move tremendously well, if the 49ers get after him, he will commit turnovers. 

Overall, the 49ers are the better team. The Ravens are very good, and have been knocking on the door of a championship for years.  If they win, it will be a gutsy performance and by the skin of their teeth.  But I have to pick the 49ers to win, as much as it pains me.  This team is loaded with talent, and extremely well coached.

49ers win 28-20.