Sunday, March 3, 2013

Movie Review: Paranormal Activity 4




Review of “Paranormal Activity 4” by Nick Anderson

 

“It’s your Aunt Katie. You’re almost ready, Hunter. I’ll be here ‘til you’re ready.”

 
It wasn’t long ago that “Paranormal Activity” was the hip newcomer on the horror scene. In 2009, the ultra low budget original bedeviled millions of horror fans around the globe, becoming one of the most profitable films ever made. Inevitably, its success led to sequels. “Paranormal Activity 2” was a step down filled with horror movie clichés and plot holes, but at least it still had a decent amount of suspense and tension. The creepy prequel, “Paranormal Activity 3”, became a major success, out-grossing both prior films. The third installment’s co-directors, Henry Joost and Ariel Schuman, were then hired by Paramount to make the fourth installment.

With the same directors, “Paranormal Activity 4” should follow in the footsteps of the third film, right? Wrong. The fourth installment is a tired, half-hearted attempt to wring more cash from an aging formula. The directors make several baffling choices that hurt the film’s credibility. Too much of the movie is set during the day, including many scenes involving demonic activity. The prior films usually had the good sense to set these scenes at night. Also, there are way too many false alarms. Tired clichés are dusted off in an attempt to get a cheap jolt out of the audience. The “boyfriend playing a prank to scare his girlfriend” and “the cat that jumps out nowhere” scenes that have appeared in decades of horror movies are used again here. Even the demon seems bored this time. After three movies of subjecting a family to severe emotional trauma and torture, it mostly resorts to half assed attempts to scare its new victims. Pushing books off shelves, turning on computers in the middle of the night, and moving chairs are pretty tame stuff by the standards of this series. This movie also has a brutally slow pace. The first half is filled with banal scenes of the family going through their daily lives. All of the movies in the series have had these types of scenes, but there are way too many in this installment.

The movie’s thin plot involves a teenage girl named Alex (Kathryn Newton) who begins to witness strange phenomena in her house after mysterious new neighbors move next door. The new denizens, of course, turn out to be the demon-possessed Katie (Kate Featherston) and her young son Robbie (Brady Allen). Robbie strikes up a friendship with Alex’s younger brother Wyatt (Aiden Lovekamp) and stays with their family after Katie is mysteriously injured. Like all major characters in these movies, Alex has an absurd obsession with filming absolutely everything that she does. She and her bumbling boyfriend Ben (Matt Shively) install web cameras on every computer in the house, and she also insists on taking a video camera wherever she goes. Alex tries to tell her parents about the eerie occurrences that are happening in their home but, naturally, they’re not listening. It is revealed that Wyatt was adopted, and he begins to behave oddly, insisting that he is Hunter Rey, the baby kidnapped by Katie at the end of “Paranormal Activity 2”. This makes no sense at all, but the filmmakers don’t seem to care.

The last third of the film does manage to pick up the pace a bit. Wyatt is sucked into a bathtub by the demon and later enters his sister’s room while she sleeps. As he silently stares at her, her body begins to levitate. The demon also traps Alex in the garage and turns on the family’s car, nearly killing her with carbon monoxide. Meanwhile, Katie begins another neck snapping killing spree. The film ends with Alex and her father encountering the witches’ coven that was seen at the end of the third film.

Ultimately, “Paranormal Activity 4” is a stale, anticlimactic entry in an aging horror franchise. The actors do their best to deliver genuine performances, but their efforts are not nearly enough to save this disappointing installment. Paramount is continuing the series with “Paranormal Activity 5” and have hired Oren Peli, the director of the original movie, to helm it. It will probably be an attempt to take the series back to its roots, but at this point it may be too late. Only time will tell.

Rating: 4/10

Saturday, March 2, 2013

Movie Drinking Games. Post 6. Independence Day



Here at Table 71 we love a good flick.  We also love a good cocktail.  However what we enjoy even more is mixing those two together. As always we have chosen 7 events that show up periodically throughout the movie.  When these events take place you take a "drink".  We have also chosen 3 events that show up only once in the movie.  These are the "shot" events.  It is very important that you don't miss the shot events.  The only other rule we have at Table 71 for our Movie Drinking Games is have fun.  You are enjoying a good movie with good people (or alone if that is the way you swing.. we don't judge)

Without any further ado here are the official drinking game rules for Independence Day.

Independence Day


Drink whenever Will Smith talks about the “Fat Lady”
Drink whenever Bill Pullman tries to be serious
Drink whenever Judd Hirsch (Jeff Goldblum’s dad) makes a Jewish reference
Drink whenever the Secretary of Defense is wrong
Drink whenever an alien abduction is referenced
Drink whenever Jeff Goldblum tries to recycle something
Drink whenever a National Landmark is destroyed

Take a shot when you need “Plausible Deniability”

Take a shot when Will Smith welcomes an alien to Earf
Take a shot when you “Celebrate your Independence Day”

If you have a movie that you would like us to turn into a drinking game please leave in the comments below.  Now go enjoy your night at the movies!

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Movie Review: The Company Men



The Company Men is one of those movies is a fairly accurate depiction of the ramifications of The Great Recession.  It's a movie with a point, and on a small scale, provides part of the reason for the United States of America as it stands today. 

Needless to say, this isn't a happy movie, and about 3/4 of the way through, I thought it was a needlessly pessimistic movie, when it ended, I found it almost too optimistic.  I'll get to that later.

The Company Men is about three businessmen, all at different stages in their lives, and how they react to being dealt the same curveball. 

Tommy Lee Jones plays Gene McCleary, who helped start GSX Corporation with James Salinger(Craig T Nelson, playing a total prick).  During the economic downturn, the company is forced to downsize, close down shipyards, and lay off employees.  This isn't because they are hemorrhaging money, they made a profit of 22 million that year, its because their shareholders demanded a larger profit margin.  This is the source of the ideological divide between Salinger and McCleary.  McCleary believes that a company's job is to provide for its employees and its community, Salinger believes in the maximization of the bottom line. 

Ben Affleck plays a young, successful salesmen who gets laid off.  Its hard to like him early in the movie, as he's kind of an arrogant prick who doesn't seem to grasp what kind of job market he's been dropped into.  However, he is the one character in the movie who experiences some kind of a redemption. 

This is an extremely well cast and well acted movie.  Chris Cooper plays the most depressing character in the film, and sadly, his optionless character is tragically accurate. 

There really is no great revelation at the end of this movie.  The villians do not meet an untimely demise, in fact, James Salinger ends up making even more money.  But the protagonists reassess their principles and move forward.  And although its kind of a downer to see them leap back into the rat race with such relish, their commitment to their principles ends the movie on an uptick.  Although its nice that Affleck and Jones land on their feet.  I think its interesting that this movie chose to depict how the lives of three white collar workers were affected.  I would've liked to see how characters that spanned a wider economic range rather than the spectrum ranging from six figures to filthy rich.

Definitely a film worth watching though.

Monday, February 25, 2013

Horror Movie Review: Sinister


Review of the film SINISTER (2012) by Nick Anderson

 

“Don’t worry daddy…I’ll make you famous again.”


In “Sinister”, Ellison Oswalt (Ethan Hawke), a true crime writer, moves with his family into a home where a horrific murder took place. Oswalt is hoping to resurrect his flagging career by writing a new bestseller about the case. He discovers a mysterious box in the attic that contains several Super 8 tapes. Each tape features grainy footage of a family being murdered. In each instance, the parents and an older child are killed but a younger child is nowhere to be found. As his research into the case progresses,  Oswalt realizes that a pagan deity named Bagul may be behind the killings. Meanwhile, his wife Tracy (Juliet Rylance) and son Trevor (Michael Hall D’Addario) grow increasingly nervous about their new home. Ellison’s daughter Ashley (Clare Foley) tells him about a mysterious girl that she sees traipsing around the house. Oswalt soon starts to experience terrifying visions of the ghosts of the missing children, as well as of Bagul himself.

“Sinister” utilizes both conventional cinematography and the “found footage” style popularized by “The Blair Witch Project” and the “Paranormal Activity” series. The film’s creepiest moments are found in the eerie home videos depicting the demises of Bagul’s past victims. Although the tree hanging is memorable, the one that I found the creepiest involved a family being drowned. Each member of the family is strapped to a lawnchair and then plunged into a pool one by one. Imagine being tied down, completely helpless, listening to the rest of your family drown and knowing that you are about to meet the same fate.

Bagul is an interesting villain. He is an ancient Babylonian deity who uses images of himself to travel from his world to ours. As long as pictures of him exist, he can use them as portals to attack more victims. Bagul is able to possess people and manipulate them into performing horrific acts, similar to the demons found in many other horror films. He also preys on children and steals their souls, similar to characters like Pennywise and Freddy Krueger.

Like most horror movies, “Sinister” does not feature any standout performances. Hawke and the rest of the cast are serviceable. They are good enough to get the job done, and that’s usually all a horror film needs.

The film relies too much on jump scares at times. Having a ghost (or an evil ancient pagan deity) suddenly appear out of nowhere is always a good way to get a cheap jolt out of the audience, but it only works once. Truly creepy horror movies are still effective after multiple viewings.  Director Scott Derrickson does a solid job of building a sense of tension and dread. He didn’t need to include so many jump scares.

The film’s relentlessly bleak ending is harsh even by horror movie standards, but it’s the only logical way for the film to conclude. There is no quick fix or cheap resolution. The final scene suggests the possibility of a sequel, and the film’s box office success makes this seem likely. Perhaps Bagul will someday be regarded as an iconic villain.

“Sinister” is a solid choice for those looking for a dark, creepy horror movie. It’s more original than most recent genre offerings. In an added bonus, it’s not a remake, a sequel, or a reboot.

 

Rating: 7/10

Saturday, February 23, 2013

The Oscars Drinking Game




Here at Table 71 we love a good awards show.  Nothing quite exemplifies the entertainment industry quite like four hour awards shows dedicated to fawning over their own accomplishments.  There is no greater awards show than the Oscars, so we decided to create a drinking game.

As always we have chosen 7 events that will probably show up periodically throughout the show. When these events take place you take a "drink".  There are three "Shot events". You know the drill.

    The only other rule we have at Table 71 for our Drinking Games is have fun. You are enjoying a good show with good people (or alone if that is the way you swing.. we don't judge). 
And so without further gilding the lily and with no more ado, I give to you here is the 2013 Academy Awards Drinking Game.

 

Drink everytime someone is speaking and the music comes on

Drink everytime someone gets political

Drink everytime someone says the name "Weinstein"
 
Drink everytime someone needs to use a piece of paper for their speech

Drink everytime someone acts surprised that they won

Drink everytime seth mcfarlane uses a Family Guy character voice


Take a shot if Seth McFarland sings

Take a shot if someone mentions Meryl Streep

Take a shot for Tony Scott

Monday, February 18, 2013

Movie Drinking Games. Post 5. Anchorman


Here at Table 71 we love a good flick.  We also love a good cocktail.  However what we enjoy even more is mixing those two together. As always we have chosen 7 events that show up periodically throughout the movie.  When these events take place you take a "drink".  We have also chosen 3 events that show up only once in the movie.  These are the "shot" events.  It is very important that you don't miss the shot events.  The only other rule we have at Table 71 for our Movie Drinking Games is have fun.  You are enjoying a good movie with good people (or alone if that is the way you swing.. we don't judge)

Without any further ado here are the official drinking game rules for Anchorman.

Anchorman

Take a drink for every sexist comment.
Take a drink everytime Ron speaks to Baxter.
Take a drink everytime Brick Tamblan says something stupid.
Take a drink everytime Champ Kind says "Whammy".
Take a drink everytime Brian Fantana humilates himself.
Take a drink everytime you see another news team.
Take a drink everytime Veronica Corningstone makes someone look stupid.
Take a shot for the "Furry Tractor".
Take a shot for not calling Dorothy Mantooth.
Take a shot for the Jazz Flute.

If you have a movie that you would like us to turn into a drinking game please leave in the comments below.  Now go enjoy your night at the movies!


Sunday, February 17, 2013

A Horror Movie Monster Manual

Horror films (and television shows, books, etc.) have featured countless different types of terrifying monstrosities over the years. Some of them have struck a chord with the public and have been used repeatedly. Here is a tongue-in-cheek look at some of the most commonly used genre monsters and how to survive an encounter with them.

Demons




 

 

Definition: Demons are evil, malevolent supernatural beings. They are usually associated with the Devil and Satanism.
Traditional portrayals: Demons are pure evil and take great delight in torturing humans. Unlike ghosts, demons have no human characteristics. They often possess the bodies of vulnerable people and force them to commit horrific acts against their will. There were many demons in the religious-themed horror films of the late ‘60s and ‘70s. Demons have made a resurgence in recent years as well. Examples of demon film portrayals include “The Exorcist” (1973), “The Last Exorcism” (2010) and (arguably) the malevolent entity in the “Paranormal Activity” series.
Alternative portrayals: The demonic Pinhead from the “Hellraiser” series is portrayed as a former human, a British World War I veteran who is transported to Hell after gaining possession of a supernatural puzzle box.
Why They Might Kill You: If you get possessed by a demon, you’re pretty much screwed. You will be a prisoner inside your own body, able only to watch helplessly as you puke green slime, swear incessantly, snap people’s necks, commit unspeakable acts with crucifixes, and so on. Once the demon has tired of you, it will move on to its next victim and leave you to rot.
How to Defeat Them: An exorcism is usually the best way to expel a demon from a person or a household. Holy water burns demons and can be a useful weapon. Crosses are effective as well.

Ghosts



 

 

Definition: A ghost is the spirit of a deceased human or animal who, for whatever reason, has remained on Earth after death. They are typically attached to one particular location and remain there indefinitely. They are not to be confused with demons, who were never human and are usually even more dangerous.
Traditional Portrayals: Many ghosts take delight in tormenting humans, especially people who are living in the ghost’s former home. Other ghosts have stayed on Earth because they are trying to resolve unfinished business from their lifetimes. Ghosts can manipulate objects, make noises, play pranks, make objects disappear, and even materialize if they can summon enough energy. Their goal is typically to either to scare the hell out people or to communicate some sort of message. Examples are “Poltergeist” (1982) and “The Haunting” (1964, remade 1999).
Alternative Portrayals: Some ghosts are depicted as being unaware that they are dead, as in“The Sixth Sense” (1999). Other ghosts continue to relentlessly follow people no matter where they go as in the “The Grudge” (2004).
Why They Might Kill You: Their ability to manipulate objects makes them a potentially lethal adversary. You never know when you might be shoved into a burning fireplace or have an axe hurtled at your neck.
How to Defeat Them: Ghosts, of course, cannot be killed because they are already dead. They are not even “undead” like zombies and vampires. They’re just dead, period. A séance might be helpful if you have an Ouija board handy. Perhaps the ghost will leave you alone once they have communicated with you. Hiring a legitimate psychic, like the creepy old lady from “Poltergeist”, could also do the trick. If a ghost cannot be appeased, however, the only solution is to simply leave their haunted house and never return.

Vampires
 

Definition: Vampires are fanged undead beings who survive by sucking and drinking the blood of humans.
Traditional Portrayals: Vampires are seductive, attractive, charismatic, intelligent, and pure evil. They can often hypnotize a human by simply gazing into their eyes. Despite these attributes, they have many weaknesses. Sunlight is fatal to them, so they can only come out at night. Vampires tend to be very arrogant and sometimes underestimate their potential victims. They are also sometimes portrayed as having obsessive-compulsive tendencies. Some vampires can transform into bats and fly. Examples of traditional vampires include Dracula, Jerry Dandridge from“Fright Night” (1985, remade in 2011), and Barlow from the Stephen King novel “Salem’s Lot” (1975).
Alternative Portrayals: Some vampires are portrayed sympathetically. They genuinely care –or at least seem to care – about some of the human beings they encounter. Examples include some of the vampires in the HBO series “True Blood”, Nyssa from “Blade II”, and Abby from “Let Me In” and “Let the Right One In”. Even in these cases, however, the vampires often exhibit violent and amoral tendencies.
Why They Might Kill You: Despite their limitations, vampires have many advantages over humans. Many vampires are hundreds or even thousands of years old, giving them a massive experience advantage over any human being. They also have the ability to “glammer” humans and force them to do their bidding. And did I mention that vampires tend to be extremely attractive?
How to Defeat Them: There are all sorts of ways to destroy a vampire. Drive a stake through their heart, shoot them with silver bullets, expose them to sunlight, chop off their head, or dismember their body. Crosses and holy water are also sometimes effective, but only if you have complete faith that they will work. Garlic drives vampires batty, so if your goal is simply to keep a vampire away, stock up on it. Also, a vampire cannot enter a private home unless they have been invited by the rightful owner.

Werewolves


 

Definition: Humans who have the ability to transform (sometime voluntarily, sometimes not) into a wolf or wolf-man hybrid during a full moon.
Traditional Portrayals: Werewolves are reckless, vicious creatures that hunt and kill humans and other creatures with impunity. They use their powerful jaws and superhuman strength to dismember and devour humans and other animals. They sometimes do not remember, or are unaware, of their activities after they return to human form. Examples include the werewolves in “The Howling” (1981) and its sequels and the Lon Chaney “Wolfman” movies of the 1940’s. The Canadian horror flick “Ginger Snaps” features a rebellious teenage girl who gradually transforms after being bitten by a werewolf.
Alternative Portrayals: Like vampires, werewolves have been portrayed sympathetically on occasion. They are sometimes depicted as being ashamed of their behavior and having no control over their transformations. An example is David Naughton in “An American Werewolf in London” (1981).
Why They Might Kill You: Few supernatural monsters possess the sheer strength, speed and power of werewolves. They can cause massive carnage on an almost unimaginable scale. A werewolf could singlehandedly take down a whole pack of zombies and would be able to hold its own against vampires as well.
How to Defeat Them: Silver bullets are the classic method, but aren’t usually a requirement. Most movie werewolves can be killed by more conventional means, such as being hit by a car. Don’t bother sprinkling them with holy water though, that will just piss them off.

Zombies

 

Definition: Zombies are reanimated corpses that feast on human flesh.
Traditional portrayals: Zombies are relentless, slow-moving, and unintelligent. They are extremely single-minded and have no interest other than the pursuit and consumption of living humans. The only sounds they make are grunts and moans. George Romero’s“Living Dead” series set the standard for how zombies are portrayed.
Alternative portrayals: The “Return of the Living Dead” series and the recent spoof “Warm Bodies” feature zombies who can talk, are somewhat intelligent, and exhibit some human characteristics. The remake of “Dawn of the Dead” (2004) features zombies who have the ability to run.
Why They Might Kill You: In most zombie films and television shows, surviving humans are vastly outnumbered by the zombies. Inevitably, the zombies eventually overrun and overwhelm the humans, either killing them or turning them into zombies themselves.
How to Defeat Them: An individual zombie is one of the easiest monsters to subdue in the horror genre. Anyone with a gun and halfway decent aim should be able to blast these shuffling, dim-witted creatures to kingdom come. A direct shot to the head will do the trick. Dismemberment works too. Unfortunately, zombies usually hunt in packs, so hopefully you have plenty of ammunition.